I just thought I'd start off with a negative point
to this chapter as recently I have developed a non-believer way to
communication having high importance, but more of an interest. So, I started to
ask myself questions whether Carnegie's advice really does matter. As the book
states, 'communication is simply an outward manifestation of our own through,
out intentions, and out conclusions about the people around us,' (p. xi).
Although I did say above that I believe that communication may not be as important
as the book portrays, it may be a means to stopping war and us even eating each
other. But, we did prove it to be wrong in the WWI and WWII. Most of the time
when communication is used for wrong purposes, I do get angry and frustrated
because I feel as though I am being sucked in and the only way for me to escape
is to isolate myself from corrupted television, magazines, and even some intellectual
and fictional books.
Also, I would like to thank my teachers, David Longbottom and Piper Terret for teaching me about all the essentials about corporate communications and writing without trying to make me be involved in it completely as to the point of losing myself. That's what learning about communication is all about to me.
As in the animal kingdom, we also possess some qualities of followers and leaders. The leaders have an influence over the followers. There are two reasons why leaders are followed according to Carnegie (p. xii):
1) people follow you because of what you've done for them;
2) people follow you because of who you are.
So, trust and generosity are what makes influencers successful. But, in a way, the real world contradicts these believes.
Although the power of influence is now clear, why do we still have
such bad leaders? Is it because they do not do things out of generosity, but to
build self-image, to gain power and 'superficial' followers? Or it could just
be that the act of doing 'fake' deeds is an actual act of doing good deeds.
Even Carnegie agrees that to have an effect on your public, you must communicate
'generosity and trust...artfully and authentically that the benefits are
mutual,' (p. xiii). I also believe that real deeds come from the heart.
For some reasons I've always seen Obama as a crap president, as
though everything he does it superficial. Maybe it's because I've watched conspiracy
theories, or I just don't like American politics so much. But, I used to like
him at the beginning. He is an intelligent man, but I now finding it hard acknowledge
his work as genuine.
Although Carnegie gives some good advice on being a leader, I
still believe that when it comes from the heart and you are wise enough, you
will not give up. The person will always be able to find a route out of the
problem before it gets too out of hand. Carnegie’s advice to help those who
cannot find a way out is by earning influence, i.e., showing people that you
are capable of being a leader and watch your fruits of labour grow. But, you
must be prepared to also come across some rotten crops and use them as fertilizers.
Then nothing will be wasted.
I have read somewhere that to be successful, you must not gossip
or spread rumours in the work place. Well, Carnegie seems to agree with the
practice and calls it 'foundational principles' (p. xii). The book
states:
'...don't criticize, condemn or complain;
talk about other's interests; if you're wrong, admit it; let others save face.
These remind you to consider others needs before you speak.'
Do people really want to be spoken to about such things or do they
want to receive flowers and chocolates every day by their colleagues to tell
them that they care? To be honest, I wouldn't know what to do with all those
chocolates and flowers every day of my life. But, by using the 'foundational
principles' you will be able to gain 'rich, enduring friendships' (p.
xiii).
All the mentioned above will be explored further and in more
detail in the book. Here is the table of contents to see some of the
headings.
Now that you have had a peak at the table of contents, you will realise that this is not a self-help book, but to learn to gain a real interest in others, be it for whatever reasons. Because sometimes we do not know how to show that we care without hurting another.
This book will give you simple, but
memorable advice on how to show your loved ones - and co-workers- that you do
(if you do) genuinely care. Although this advice is specifically to help you
make progress in your conversations, everyday collaboration and companies, it
doesn't have to be about that. As you read on, you will notice that the advice
is more for everyday interaction than you might have assumed at the beginning.
You might be that person who needs help expressing themselves through different
forms of communication, or have a purpose/ reason/ belief/ movement to
influence others in the positive way. In that case, read on.
